Recently, I was listening to an episode of American Sex Podcast with Sunny Megatron. The guest was Amberly Rothfield and she was promoting her book “How I Made $10,000 A Month As A Phone Sex Operator.” I’m a huge fan of Sunny Megatron from her Showtime days and Amberly and I are friends so I was tickled to listen to them chat and compare notes. (Apparently Sunny has a side hustle as a phone dominatrix).
Sunny asked Amberly questions related to how she got started in the adult entertainment industry, some of her interesting clients and the success of her book. But it was discussion about sex positivity that really caught my attention. It’s a phrase I hear in various forms and each time I wonder why sex has to be described that way. Why must it be reiterated that sex can be a positive experience?
I’ve always had a sex positive mentality but that’s probably because my mom introduced me to sex at the tender age of five. Yep! FIVE!!! I learned the proper names of body parts and was always encouraged to use them. I was taught the biology of sex and the emotional nature of sex. My period was not something to dread each month but was to be celebrated. As my body developed (I got boobs early) I was allowed to admire and accentuate my body in age appropriate ways. Even though the boys teased me or tried to feel me up, I learned to love me and respect myself enough so that I would demand others to do the same.
And despite my mother being a teen mom, she didn’t discourage me from having sex for fear I would also get pregnant early. She did, however, explain that should I get pregnant young, it would significantly effect my ability to go away to college and enjoy my young adulthood without the responsibility of another human being. She encouraged me to date and to date a lot while I was in college. I did just that and that is where my sexual self-confidence really grew.
The fact that we need a phrase like sex positivity is disheartening. In a Cosmopolitan magazine article, Cosmo studied federally funded sex education programs. Sadly, not only is there little education, the scare tactics used to promote the various abstinence programs in our public schools further contributes to the negative sexual images our young girls see of themselves. Our government is spearheading the efforts to continue minimizing women in the age of “Me Too.”
Today, so many years after my mother first introduced me to sex, I find myself not only feeling excitement talking about it but I appreciate her even more for talking honestly and openly with me, allowing me to do the same with all you.
Sex positivity should be a call to action for all of us, but for me it was/is who I’ve always been and will continue to be. Thank you to people like Sunny and Amberly for not being afraid to continue the conversation about something that should come with no shame or embarrassment. And so in the immortal words of Salt N Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex Baby!”