How to have the best sex ever – that’s such an intimidating goal. What does that look like? How do you do it? Is it even possible to have the best sex … EVER!

First, the phrase “best sex ever,” is relative. What curls my toes and makes me purr like a kitten might make you run for the hills and call the police. Missionary, in total darkness, nice and slow with smooth jazz in the background may be the ingredients for an all-night marathon while plastic wrap and candle wax is just the start of the adventure. The best sex ever isn’t about having all the right moves. It’s a series of moves, not all of them in the bedroom.

Judy McGuire from has thirteen suggestions for how you can create passion like you’ve never experienced before. I’ve done many of the things on her list and I can attest to the fact that they work. Yep, every last one of them will change your experience between the sheets, or wherever you get your freak on. What’s also great about her list, you don’t have to do them all to reap the benefits. Start slow, pick just one to start with and see if you don’t tingle in places you haven’t before.

Here are the 13 suggestions for how to have the best sex ever:

  1. Start Talking – You and your partner should be talking about your experiences together. Focus on what feels good and what you’d like to try. Avoid doing it while you’re in the midst of the action and keep the conversation positive.
  2. Use Your Ears – Take 10 minutes to listen to what your partner likes, wants, fantasizes about. What does your partner say and sound like when you’re having sex. Pay attention to what types of responses you get as you touch their body.
  3. Watch Porn Together – If you’re not comfortable watching porn with your partner, don’t do it. Not everyone is comfortable watching other people have sex or doing it in front of their partner. Maybe instead, talk about a romantic scene you saw in a movie or tv show. Share how it made you feel.
  4. Take Your Time Undressing – A striptease is sexy whether you’re Dita Von Tease or Dotty Van Dame. It’s all about attitude. Put on your favorite song and let ‘er rip.
  5. Take A Shower – Whether together, alone or as a voyeur/exhibitionist, the shower can help set the mode. The warmth of the water can help to relax tense muscle while the aroma of your favorite shower gel can help clear your mind.
  6. Create A Mood – Turn The Lights Down – So many of us have sex in the dark; why not try using a colored lightbulb to create a different kind of glow in the room. Draw back the curtains and let the street light create shadows. Lighting can be a game changer.
  7. Bring The Kitchen Into The Bedroom – If you bring food to the bedroom, be prepared to change the sheets or just throw them away when you’re done. Wooden spoons, spatulas and forks are just a few of the items you can play with. Let you imagination run wild with what can be found in the kitchen.
  8. Tell Her She Looks (and Tastes) Great  Women love compliments. We love hearing you express how you feel about us. Start telling us we taste great and I guarantee, the juices will start flowing.
  9. Touch Her Everywhere (with Oil) – Behind the knee, along the collar bone and the nape of the neck are hot button places. Introduce oil and you can glide from one to the next, varying the pressure and temperature. Which spots make her jump, which make her moan?
  10. Reverse Cowgirl Position – This popular position is simple yet highly effective. She’s in control of how much of you she experiences and you get to watch that ass as she swirls and grinds. If there is a mirror in front of you, watch her watch herself. Nothing hotter than a woman who enjoys herself.
  11. Take Control of Your Breathing
  12. Make It Last – You can make the moment last by taking your time with foreplay. Halt orgasms by switching positions or stopping for oral. And when you can’t hold out any longer, let your body linger in the height of ecstasy. Don’t immediately get up, don’t even cuddle right away. Touch yourself or your partner, as lightly as possible but in those areas that you know are energized the most.
  13. Don’t Worry So Much; Intercourse Isn’t Everything – While this statement sounds like blasphemy to me, its true. Intimacy can carry you further than intercourse.

Tonight, pick 1 or 2 tips and explore your intimate space with new goals. Whether you try something completely brand new or reinvent something old, these 13 tips will have you well on your way to having the best sex – EVER!